> BLAGUES-L > Archives 2003
Date: Wed, 18 Jun 2003 11:47:58 -0400
From: Melting Luck
Subject: BLAGUES-L: Who Will Bush Go After Next?
From: Mélanie Couture
From: Juan M. Garcia
Date: Tue, 10 Jun 2003 10:24:46 -0400
With war against Iraq all but over and at least a year before the next
presidential election, George W. Bush is likely to be looking at other
possibly threatening targets to decapitate such as:
Iran - Osama bin Laden could be hiding there.
Syria - Saddam Hussein could be hiding there.
The Mythical City of Atlantis - Osama bin Laden could be hiding there.
Luxembourg - A country with a name this long has to be hiding something.
France - They didn't want to be part of the Coalition of the Willing.
Saddam Hussein could be hiding there.
British Indian Ocean Territory - First three initials form 'BIO' which
obviously means they are manufacturing biological weaponry.
Northern Ireland - Because the first three letters of Iran and Iraq are IRA.
Hogwarts School of Wizardry and Witchcraft - - That Harry Potter kid
looks like he could be a real threat when he gets older.
Hong Kong - For biological terrorism in the form of SARS.
Antarctica - Because it'll make a change from a bloody hot desert.
Nauru - Because it poses an unspecified threat to US security largely
because George W Bush doesn't know where it is, or what's there.
7-11 - Osama bin Laden could be hiding in any of them.
Japan - Sony are planning to make little Saddam Furbies.
Milan - Because it sounds like Islam.
Vatican City - Why declare war on just one religion?
Russia - Because the cold war is unfinished business too.
Middle Earth - Middle East, Middle Earth - what's the difference?
Mexico - Tacos have been proven to explode in people's stomachs, and
therefore they are considered to be massive destruction weapons.
Turkey - Why have both a country and an animal with the same name?
China - There are just too many Chinese, Bush can wipe out millions of
them and they wouldn't even be missed. It would be like a sport for him.
Venezuela - Any dictator is always a good target! Moreover, they have
even more oil to steal!
Tasmania - I know its only a state but why not...they're just strange
Monaco - It's small (only 2 sq km) and would make a great 'weekender'.
Canada - Listen folks, We are eventually going to run out of places to
conquer so we might as well take these guys by surprise...We will sneak
attack while the entire country is at a hockey game.
Bassas da India - A French colony with 'ass' in their name. Dubbya knows
something is up here that must be stopped.
Dominican Republic - George W. Bush went to primary school with a boy
called Dom who wasn't very nice.
South Sandwich Islands - Mmm ... sandwiches.
China - Because they FUND North Korea's military budget. (Oh, wait
that's not funny, they really do).
Australia - They didn't seem to have any casualties in this war; they
must've been helping Sadam.
Wales - Because, like the Iraqi country folk, they commune with sheep
AND spit when they talk. Therefore they must be terrorists. Besides,
they fight the Blairist wing of the USA by trying to retain a national
identity (also Osama could be there staying with his aunt Gwyneth Byn
Laden, in Llandudno).
New Zealand - Because they hide their intent to overrun other countries
(ie Australia) by winging about how good it is at home! Who cares if
Osama Bin Laden is hiding there. Nuke 'em!
Mars - It's hot, it's sandy. The sand is red, maybe because of the blood
shed by all the oppressed people who live there.
England - Because, in the words of George W. Bush, "Them peoples can't
keep teasing on me for my englishizing, if I destroy the place where
English gets talked the mostest."
The Moon - Because we must destroy their cheese stash. It could be used
to manufacture biological weapons. Who's to say Osama Bin Laden is not
hiding there. It's a threat to us all!
Libya - They don't seem to be doing anything! Bomb them just in case.
Michael Jackson's Neverland - He's always invading things, obscenely
high priced stores, supermarkets, our ears, kiddies. This monster has to
be stopped. Also he does seem to look like a BIO experiment gone wrong.
Costa Rica - Jurassic Park is there. They're breading a whole army of
Jupiter - They must be there. The planet's full of Toxic Gasses. Bio
weapons, for sure, mm hmm.
A Dixie Chicks Concert - They are the axis of Evil.
Japan - Because subliminal terrorist messages are hidden in karaoke tunes.
France - Just for the heck of it! Besides they might miss and
"accidentally" hit Germany.
Papua New Guinea - Have they actually ever been in a war? Nope, didn't
think so. Too quiet for my likes, AND Osama could be vacationing there.
The Pretzel Companies - The World NEED to be Bush-whacked for the safety
of everyone. When someone eats a pretzel they have a one in four chance
of choking. Just look at what they did to Dubbya a while ago. Osama Bin
Laden and Saddam Hussein have paid the pretzel companies to produce
these weapons of mass destruction to millions of people the world over.
Liberia - It sounds a bit like lysteria, it reads a bit like liberation,
plus it might have weapons of bus construction.
Alabama - It's not a country, but Osama Bin Laden could be hiding there.
If he's not, at least we'll be doing our part to clean up the gene pool.
The Netherworld - Once we know Bin Laden is dead, why not do it again,
just for the fun of it?
The Whales - They're big enough to conceal any number of terrorists.
Mexico - Their food is a form a terrorism.
Australia - Because they play cricket... and we don't get it.
Alabama - Who'd miss it?
> BLAGUES-L > Archives 2003