Date: Wed, 22 Jan 2003 09:25:48 -0500
From: Dogsi Qatsi
Subject: BLAGUES-L: Math and Chemistry - Crocodiles and Administratium


Date: Tue, 12 Dec 2000 01:09:00 +0100
From: NiKo


A math joke: very old...

Prove that the crocodile is longer than it is wide.

Lemma 1.
The crocodile is longer than it is green:
Let's look at the crocodile. It is long on the top and on the bottom, 
but it is green only on the top. Therefore, the crocodile is longer than 
it is green.

Lemma 2.

The crocodile is greener than it is wide:
Let's look at the crocodile. It is green along its length and width, but 
it is wide only along its width. Therefore, the crocodile is greener 
than it is wide.

 From Lemma 1 and Lemma 2 we conclude that the crocodile is longer than 
it is wide.


=============


And a chemistry joke, about 10 years old...

Investigators at a major research institution recently discovered the 
heaviest element known to science and have tentatively named it 
Administratium.

Administratium has no protons or electrons, thus having an atomic number 
of 0. It has, however, 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice 
neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves the 
continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons. It is also 
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be 
detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes into contact with.

According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium causes 
one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally 
have occurred in less than a second.

Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately 3 years; it does 
not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of 
the assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons 
exchange places. In fact, an Administratium sample's mass will actually 
INCREASE over time, since with each reorganization some of the morons 
inevitably become neutrons, forming new isotopes. This characteristic of 
moron promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium 
is spontaneously formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in 
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as the 
'Critical Morass'.

You will recognize it when it occurs.