Accueil > BLAGUES-L > Archives 2003 >

Date: Sun, 30 Mar 2003 23:13:42 -0500
From: Salty Light
Subject: BLAGUES-L: Axis of Evil

From: René Gemme
Date: Fri, 28 Mar 2003 12:04:01 -0500

(Subscribers have told me this was written by John Cleese)

Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, 
China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as 
Evil," which they said would be more evil than that stupid 
Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis, President Bush warned of in his State of the 
Union address.

Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as 
having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. 
"Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil...we're the 

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, 
although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. 
"They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. "An 
Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President 
Saddam Hussein. This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you 
had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can only have 
three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wickedly cool."

International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as 
within minutes, France surrendered.

Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in 
what became a game of geopolitical chairs.

Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat 
Evil," forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of 
Occasionally Evil," while Bulgaria,Indonesia and Russia established the 
"Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable."

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling 
up...Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the 
"Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to 
Host the Olympics."

Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are 
Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About 
America," while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of 
Countries That Be Allowed to ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick." "That's not a 
threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive 
First Minister Jack McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making 
fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axis, although he 
rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in 
"Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application. 
Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.

Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but 
privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.

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