Date: Wed, 23 Jan 2002 17:55:41 -0500 (EST)
From: Slime On
Subject: BLAGUES-L: Wildlife


Date: Mon, 02 Nov 1998 08:40:16 +0000
From: Simon Lewis
From: Joe from the Laffatorium


A man is caught, by a forest ranger, sitting at a make-shift campfire,
and to the ranger's horror, eating a bald eagle.  The man is
consequently put in jail for the crime.  On the day of his trail, the
conversation went something like this:

JUDGE: "Do you know that eating a bald eagle is a federal offense?"

MAN: "Yes I do. But if you let me argue my case, I'll explain what
happened."

JUDGE: "Proceed."

MAN: "I got lost in the woods. I hadn't had anything to eat for two
weeks. I was so hungry. Next thing I see is a Bald Eagle swooping down
at the lake for some fish. I knew that if I followed the Eagle I could
maybe steal the fish. I caught up with the eagle who lighted upon a tree
stump to eat the fish. I threw a stone toward the eagle hoping he would
drop the fish and fly away. Unfortunately, in my weakened condition, my
aim was off, and the rock hit the eagle squarely on his poor little
head, and killed it. I thought long and hard about what had happened,
but figured that since I killed it I might as well eat it since it would
be more disgraceful to let it rot on the ground."

JUDGE: "The court will take a recess while we analyze your testimony."
15 minutes goes by and the judge returns.

JUDGE: "Due to the extreme circumstance you were under and because you
didn't intend to kill the eagle, the court will dismiss the charges."
The Judge then leans over the bench and whispers: "If you don't mind my
asking, what does a bald eagle taste like?"

MAN: "Well your honor, it is hard to explain. The best I can describe it
is somewhere between a California Condor and a Spotted Owl."