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Date: Fri, 20 Dec 2002 18:01:22 -0500
From: Through the Wall
Subject: BLAGUES-L: Mammogram

Date: 17 Dec 2002 10:24:25 +1000
From: A. Thonon

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there's no need to 
worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam, 
and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally 
prepared. And you can do this right in your own home!

Exercise 1:

Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and 
the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut and 
lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds 
(while you hold your breath). Repeat again, in case the first time 
wasn't effective enough.

Exercise 2:

Visit your garage at 3 am when the temperature of the cement floor is 
just perfect. Take off your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor 
with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to 
slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and 
chilled. Turn over and repeat for the other breast.

Exercise 3:

Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a 
stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. 
Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set an appointment with 
the stranger to meet next week and do it again!!

Now you have nothing at all to worry about when you go for your Mammogram!

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