Accueil > BLAGUES-L > Archives 2002 >

FROM: Stanley Wine
DATE:   Wed, 18 Sep 2002 19:13:27 -0400 (EDT) 

FROM: Philippe Reid (LMC) 
DATE:   Tue, 27 Aug 2002 10:10:04 -0400 
From: Francis Robitaille (LMC) 
From: pat millaire    

Subject: Guys Rules 

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. 
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving 
it down. 

1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can 
find the perfect present yet again! 

1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it. 

1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short 
hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women 
always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her. 

1. Crying is blackmail. 

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not 
work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. 
Remind us frequently beforehand. 

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any 
good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? 

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we 
do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 

1. Check your oil! Please. 

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all 
comments become null and void after 7 days. 

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to 

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes 
you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not 
both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. 

1. All men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for 
example, is a fruit, not a colour. We have no idea what mauve is. 

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading 
ability is not proof of how little we care about you. 

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's 
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you 
don't want to hear. 

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. 

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss 
such topics as the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. 

1. You have enough clothes. 

1. You have too many shoes. 

1. No, you really do have too many shoes. 

1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you. 

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch 
tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.  

Accueil > BLAGUES-L > Archives 2002 >