Date: Wed, 30 Oct 2002 10:25:53 -0500
From: George River
Subject: BLAGUES-L: A Tale of Two Diaries: Dog's and Cat's


FROM: Peter Ruffolo
DATE: Mon, 29 Apr 2002 16:55:58 -0400


EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY

Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!

Day number 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!


EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling 
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry 
cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and 
the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of 
furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their 
feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top 
of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile 
oppressors, I onceagain induced myself to vomit on their favourite 
chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in 
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike 
fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a 
good little cat I was... Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good 
reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included 
a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent 
such a liquid.  My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck 
between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was 
placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise 
and smell the foul odour of the glass tubes they call "beer". More 
importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of 
"allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe 
snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to 
return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got 
to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he
reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room 
his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...