Date: Fri, 8 Jun 2001 05:12:11 -0400 (EDT) From: Sore Bone Subject: BLAGUES-L: Translation Date: Sat, 12 May 2001 16:24:11 -0400 From: Roger Fortin Thesaurus Joke A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed as it left a New York publishing house last Thursday, according to the Associated Press. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, punchy, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplused, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, boggled, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, and perplexed. --------------------------- An Enterprising Translator A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture and an enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a lengthy search, he traced the bandit to his favourite cantina, snuck up behind him, put his trusty six-shooter to the bandit's head, and said, "You're under arrest. Tell me where you hid the loot or I'll blow your brains out." But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. Fortunately, a translator was in the saloon and translated the Ranger's message. The terrified bandit blurted out, in Spanish, that the loot was buried under the oak tree in back of the cantina. "What did he say?" asked the Ranger. The translator answered, "He said 'Get lost, Gringo. You wouldn't dare shoot me.'" --------------------------- Japanese Business A businessman spent three days negotiating a tough deal with a Japanese businessman. The third day, things were going well, and he said, "Well, I think that at last we're thinking along parallel lines." The next day the Japanese businessman didn't show up. He checked the hotel and discovered that the businessman had checked out! So he rushed to the airport and found the Japanese businessman in the departure waiting room. He said, "Why are you leaving? It took three days, but we're finally thinking along parallel lines!" And the Japanese businessman nodded, and said, "Yes, yes. I scrutinize my dictionary. Parallel lines will never meet. So I go home.