Accueil > BLAGUES-L > Archives 2001 >

Date: Wed, 11 Jul 2001 10:22:06 -0400
From: White and Wong
Subject: BLAGUES-L: Stephen Wright one-liners

Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1998 11:36:30 -0400
From: Jeff Briere

 Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm

 Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

 Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

 I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week

 I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met

 I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol

 I intend to live forever - so far, so good

 If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

 If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!

 Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!

 Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States

 Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of

 Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion

 The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes

 When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane

 Ambition is a poor excuse for not having the good sense to be lazy

 If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they

 24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ... coincidence?

 If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked

 Many people quit looking for work when they find a job

 Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire

 When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded

 Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film

 Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

 If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

 Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

 What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

 Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery

 I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone

 I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out

 I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder

 Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark

 How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

 Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.

 Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

 Wear short sleeves!  Support your right to bare arms!

 For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain

 OK, so what's the speed of dark?

 Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!

 Black holes are where God divided by zero

 All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand

 I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose

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