Accueil > BLAGUES-L > Archives 2001 >

Date: Thu, 25 Oct 2001 10:31:37 -0400 (EDT)
From: Return to Whenever
Subject: BLAGUES-L: New computer viruses

Date: Fri, 16 Oct 1998 10:53:45 +0200
From: Daniel De Luca

New Computer Viruses

Ellen Degeneres virus:  Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC

Monica Lewinsky virus:	Sucks all the memory out of your computer

Titanic virus:		Makes your whole computer go down

Disney virus:		Everything in the computer goes Goofy

Mike Tyson virus:	Quits after one byte

Prozac virus:		Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care

Sharon Stone virus:	Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it's there

Lorena Bobbit virus:	Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy

Tim Allen virus:	Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive upon contact

Woody Allen virus:	Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card

Saddam Hussein virus:	Won't let you into any of your programs

Tonya Harding virus:	Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons

George Michaels virus:	Runs its course, occasionally releasing excess data

Joey Buttafuoco virus:	Only attacks minor files

X-files virus:		All your Icons start shape shifting

Spice Girl virus:	Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop

Ronald Reagan virus:	Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored

Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus:	Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them

Sony Bono virus:	Just when you get surfing the web, a firewall appears out of nowhere

Martha Stewart virus:	Takes all your files, sorts them by category and folds
them into cute little doilies to be displayed on your desktop

Oprah Winfrey virus:	Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then
slowly expands to 300MB

AT&T virus:		Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting

MCI virus:		Every 3 minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus:	Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back

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