Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2001 15:35:30 -0500 (Est)
From: The Book of Job
Subject: BLAGUES-L: How to screw up an interview


Date: Mon, 24 Aug 1998 22:00:19 -0600
From: E.W. Smith

>From one of my author friends in Halifax NS.

Earle - Grande Prairie AB
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HOW TO SCREW UP AN INTERVIEW:

We've all been interviewed for jobs.  And, we've all spent most of those
interviews thinking about what not to do.  Don't bite your nails.
Don't fidget.  Don't interrupt.  Don't belch.  If we did any of the
don'ts, we knew we'd disqualify ourselves instantly.  But some job
applicants go light years beyond this.  We surveyed top personnel
executives of 100 major American corporations and asked for stories of
unusual behavior by job applicants:

The lowlights:

1. "... stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application."

2. "She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music
    at the same time."

3. "A balding candidate abruptly excused himself.  Returned to office
    a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece."

4. "... asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel
    executive was qualified to judge the candidate."

5. "... announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger
    and french fries in the interviewer's office - wiping the ketchup
    on her sleeve."

6. "Stated that, if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by
    having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm."

7. "Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific
    interview questions."

8. "When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap
    dancing around my office."

9. "At the end of the interview, while I stood there dumbstruck, went
    through my purse, took out a brush, brushed his hair, and left."

10. "... pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me.
    Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him."

11. "Said he wasn't interested because the position paid too much."

12. "While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out
     a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only, stopping
     longest at the centerfold."

13. "During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate's
     brief case. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had
     to leave for another interview."

14. "A telephone call came in for the job applicant.  It was from his wife.
     His side of the conversation went like this: "Which company? When do
     I start? What's the salary?" I said, "I assume you're not interested
     in conducting the interview any further." He promptly responded, "I
     am as long as you'll pay me more. "I didn't hire him, but later found
     out there was no other job offer.  It was a scam to get a higher offer."

15. "His attache (case) opened when he picked it up and the contents
     spilled, revealing ladies' undergarments and assorted makeup
     and perfume."

16. "Candidate said he really didn't want to get a job, but the
     unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one."

17. "... asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my
     desk.  When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now
     and wanted my phone number.  I called security."

18. "Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that
     if he was not hired, the bomb would go off.  Disbelieving, I began
     to state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call
     the police.  He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch and
     ran.  No one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk."