Date: Thu, 19 Apr 2001 11:07:14 -0400
From: Darles Charwin
Subject: BLAGUES-L: Brand New Grand Cherokee


Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1998 13:58:55 +0100
From: Simon Lewis
From: "New Humor"
Subject: Friday, August 27, 1998 Issue


 Darwin award candidate

 Michigan, USA.

Guy buys brand new Grand Cherokee for 30 some thousand dollars and has
400+ dollar monthly payments.  He immediately gets ahold of his friend
and they go do some male bonding.  They go duck hunting and of course
all the lakes are frozen.

These 2 Atomic Brains go to the lake with the guns, the dog, the beer
and of course the new vehicle.  They drive out onto the lake ice and get
ready.  Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area for
the ducks, something for the decoys to float on.  Remember, it's all ice
and in order to make a hole large enough to look like something a
wandering duck wants to fly down and land on, it is going to take a
little more effort than an ice hole drill.

Out of the back of the new Grand Cherokee comes a stick of dynamite with
a short, 40 second fuse.

Now these 2 Rocket Scientists do take into consideration that if they
place the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where they
are standing (and the new Grand Cherokee), they take the risk of
slipping on the ice when they run from the burning fuse and possibly
going up in smoke with the resulting blast.  So, they decide to light
this 40 second fuse and throw the dynamite which is what they end up
doing.

Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the vehicle, the
beer, the guns AND THE DOG ????

Yes, the dog. A highly trained Black Lab used for retrieving, especially
things thrown by the owner.

You guessed it, the dog takes off at a high rate of doggy speed on the
ice and gets the stick of dynamite with the burning 40 second fuse about
the time it hits the ice all to the woes of the 2 idiots yelling,
stomping, waving arms and wondering what the hell to do now.

The dog, well it is happy and heads back from where it came from moments
before, with the stick of dynamite, only to the mounting woes of the 2
bozo's now really waving their arms, yelling even louder and jumping to
new heights than ever before.

Now one of the guys decides to think, something that he has never done
before this moment, grabs a shotgun and shoots the dog.  The shotgun is
loaded with #8 duck shot, hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab on its
appointed rounds.  Dog stops for a moment, slightly confused and
continues on.  Another shot and this time the dog, still standing,
becomes really confused and of course scared, thinking these 2 Nobel
Prize winners have gone insane and takes off to find cover, with the now
really short, short fuse burning on this stick of dynamite.

The cover the dogs finds? Underneath the brand new Grand Cherokee 30
some thousand dollar 400+ monthly payment vehicle sitting on the lake
ice.


BOOM !


Dog dies, and it and the brand new Grand Cherokee 30 some thousand
dollar 400+ monthly payment vehicle sinks to the bottom of the lake
leaving the 2 candidates for Co-leaders of the Known Universe standing
there with this "I can't believe this happened" look on their faces.

Later, the owner of the vehicle calls his insurance company which tells
him that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is not
covered. He had yet to make the first of those 400+ a month payments.


I felt pretty sorry for the dog myself.

submitted by... Kenny Myers