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Date: Thu, 1 Feb 2001 14:55:38 -0500 (Est)
From: Busy Ness
Subject: BLAGUES-L: Actual Business Signs

Date: Thu, 2 Jul 1998 09:25:55 -0400
From: Philippe Reid
From: Eric Paquin

Actual Business Signs

On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

Outside a Radiator Repair Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."

In a Non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you are on
fire and take appropriate action."

On Maternity Room door: "Push, Push, Push."

On a Front Door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the

At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for,
you've come to the right place."

On a Scientist's door: "Gone Fission."

On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

In a Podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."

On a Butcher's window: "Let me meat your needs."

On another Butcher's window: "Pleased to meat you."

At a Used Car Lot: "Second Hand cars in first crash condition."

On a fence: "Salesmen welcome.  Dog food is expensive."

At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car

Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary.  We'll hear you

Outside a Hotel: "Help!  We need inn-experienced people."

In a Dry Cleaner's Emporium: "Drop your pants here."

On a desk in a Reception Room: "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd
one just left."

In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes.  Sit!  Stay!"

On a Music Teacher's door: "Out Chopin."

At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your
bill.  However, if you don't, you will be."

In a Beauty Shop: "Dye now!"

On the door of a Computer Store: "Out for a quick byte."

In a Restaurant window:  "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and
get fed up."

Inside a Bowling Alley: "Please be quiet.  We need to hear a pin drop."

On the door of a Music Library: "Bach in a minuet."

In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait."

In a Counselor's office: "Growing old is mandatory.  Growing wise is

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