Date: Tue, 15 Aug 2000 14:22:09 -0400 (EDT) From: Cray Mayer Subject: BLAGUES-L: Church Bulletin Bloopers Date: Fri, 19 Dec 1997 12:24:25 -0600 From: Tom Shaw From: CDPRYOR CHURCH BULLETIN Bloopers 1. The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church. 2. The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done. 3. Evening massage - 6 p.m. 4. The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning. 5. The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession. 6. Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door. 7. Ushers will eat latecomers. 8. The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment. 9. The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience. 10. The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy." 11. During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit. 12. Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience." 13. Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice. 14. Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All" . 15. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. 16. The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her. 17. 22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why. 18. A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday. 19. Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir. 20. Hymn 43: "Great God, what do I see here?" Preacher: The Rev. Horace Blodgett Hymn 47: "Hark! an awful voice is sounding" 21. On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD. Dr. Hargreaves is better. 22. The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11. 23. Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary. 24. Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow. 25. The service will close with "Little Drops of Water". One of the ladies will start (quietly) and the rest of the congregation will join in.