Date: Tue, 25 May 1999 23:53:11 -0400 (EDT)
From: Who wants to believe
Subject: BLAGUES-L: The Seven Deadly Sins of Gilligan's Island

Date: Fri, 25 Apr 1997 05:25:04 -0400 (EDT)
From: CLLovett

Special thanks to Shannon Dyer of the Pike's Peak Writers Conference. 
 (And to quick cut-and-paste.)

The Seven Deadly Sins of Gilligan's Island theory is quite simple. 
Each of the seven characters on the island represents each of the 
seven deadly sins.

Now, this theory seems to fit upon initial inspection, there are 
technical difficulties when you get down to THE MAN himself, 
Gilligan.

Run with me on this one...

Most obvious is the Professor, who fits PRIDE to a T.  Any man who can 
make a ham radio out of some wire and two coconuts has to be pretty 
cocky.  (His character was later revised and given a series of his 
own, called "MacGyver".)

For the sin of ENVY we need look no further than Maryann, who may have 
worn those skimpy little tops, but could never achieve Ginger's 
glamour.  (As an interesting and completely irrelevant side note, a 
nationwide survey of college students a few years ago revealed that 
the professor and Maryann were voted the most likely couple to have 
'done it' on the island.)

And who could doubt for a moment that Ginger is LUSTincarnate?  Sure, 
the kids were supposed to think she was ACTING, but we all know what 
being deprived episode after episode was doing to her.  You know and I 
know that glazed look wasn't boredom, my friends.

What kind of person takes a trunk full of money on a three-hour 
cruise?  Mr Howell gets my vote for GREED.

We are now left with three characters and three Deadly Sins.  We have 
Gilligan, the Skipper and Mrs Howell to whom we must match GLUTTONY, 
SLOTH and ANGER.  As you can see, there is a Gilligan problem here.

Certainly we can further eliminate Mrs Howell from this equation by 
connecting her with SLOTH.  She did jack shit during her many years on 
the island and everybody knows it.

This leaves ANGER and GLUTTONY, either of which the Skipper had no 
shortage.  He was, after all, a big guy with the tendency to hit 
Gilligan with his hat at least once an episode.  After much 
consideration, I have decided that he can easily do double-duty, 
covering the two remaining Deadly Sins.

So here we have the Seven Deadly Sins trapped in an endlessly 
recurring Hell of hope followed by denial and despair, forced to live 
with each other in our TVs until the last re-run ends.  And who is 
their captor?  What keeps them trapped there?

Gilligan.

Gilligan is SATAN.  Think about it.