Accueil > BLAGUES-L > Archives 1999 >

Date: Tue, 21 Sep 1999 21:30:09 -0400 (EDT)
From: Siberian Khatru
Subject: BLAGUES-L: Mottos to Live By

[ Hello everyone!  How are you today? ;-)  (/jg) ]

From: Alain Theriault
Date: Wed, 17 Sep 1997 16:54:30 -0400 (EDT)
From: Annette Greenslade

Mottos To Live By...

 * If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

 * A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

 * Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

 * For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

 * He who hesitates is probably right.

 * Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

 * No one is listening until you make a mistake.

 * Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

 * The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

 * The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

 * The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

 * To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is 

 * To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your 

 * Two wrongs are only the beginning.

 * You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

 * The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

 * Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

 * The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

 * A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

 * If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried 

 * Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.

 * Don't sweat petty things....or pet sweaty things.

 * A fool and his money are soon partying.

 * Money can't buy love. But it CAN rent a very close imitation.

 * Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

 * Always try to be modest. And be damn proud of it!

 * If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

 * How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands....

 * Attempt to get a new car for your spouse-it'll be a great trade!

 * I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

 * Everybody repeat after me....."We are all individuals."

 * Death to all fanatics!

 * Guests who kill talk show hosts .. On the last Geraldo.

 * Chastity is curable, if detected early.

 * Don't be sexist; broads hate that!

 * Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

 * Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.

 * Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

 * Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

 * Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.

 * Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.

 * Beware of geeks bearing gifs.

 * Half the people you know are below average.

 * 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

 * 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

 * A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

 * If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

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