Date: Mon, 4 Oct 1999 15:28:26 -0400 (EDT) From: Hawk Tober Subject: BLAGUES-L: Indian Elections Date: Sun, 3 Oct 1999 09:34:51 -0500 From: Karen Stanley Ah, politics; always offering us bigger and better opportunities for humor... Karen ---------- Elections having just been run again in India there's new jokes about - here's a couple (notes at the ned on the characters): ----- Laloo, Jayalalitha, and Sonia are on a long flight in an Air Force plane. Laloo pulls out a 100 Rupee note and says, "I'm going to throw this Rs.100 note out and make someone down below happy." Jayalalitha, not wanting to be outdone, says, "If that was my 100 Rupee note, I would split it into two Rs.50 notes, throw them down and make two people down below happy." Of course Sonia doesn't want these two candidates to out do her so she pipes in, 'I would instead take one hundred Rs.1 notes and throw them out to make 100 people just a little happier." At this point the pilot, who has overheard all this bragging and can't stand it anymore, comes out and says, "If I throw all three of you out of this plane and I'll make 975 million people happy" --------------------------------------------------------------------- When Lalloo completed 25 years of his rule over Bihar, he wanted a special postage stamp issued, with his picture on it. He so instructed Rabridevi, stressing that it should be of international quality. The stamps were duly released, and Lalloo was pleased. But within a couple of days of release of the stamp, he began hearing complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and became furious. He called Rabri and ordered her to investigate the matter.Rabri checked the matter out at several post offices, and then reportedn the problem to Lallo Prasad. She said: "The stamp is really of international quality. The problem is, our people are spitting on the wrong side" ------ (Gloss: Laloo is the 'King of Bihar', his wife Rabri is Cheif Minister in his place as he is under permanent criminal investigation. Bihar is, reputedly, the most corrupt state in India. Sonia is, of course, the latest Gandhi with a death wish, and Jayalalitha is formidable ex-Chief Minister of Tamil Nadu whose withdrawal of support brought down the last Indian government. She was the mistress of MGR, a film star who was Chief Minister of Tamil Nadu for ages, even after he was declared clinically brain dead. And I'm not joking!)