Date: Thu, 4 Jul 1996 12:59:18 -0400 (EDT) From: "Jocelyn G, candidat aux Webs d'Or et non-vaccine" Subject: BLAGUES-L: Three guys in heaven Date: Thu, 16 May 1996 09:19:02 -0400 From: Philippe Reid Un peu longue, mais bonne! Phil ----- Begin Included Message ----- Heaven. Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first man, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?" The first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out onto the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above the ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating and kicking him, but he wouldn't fall. So, I went back into my apartment and came back with a hammer. He couldn't stand the hammering on his fingers and finally fell...but even after 25 stories , he fell into the bushes, stunned but ok. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. All of this stress and anger got to me and I had a heart attack..I died right there on the balcony." "That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said peter, and let the man in. The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks his story. "It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. Luckily, I caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for long, when suddenly this man burst out on the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into his apartment, grabbed a hammer, and started beating my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I was lucky and landed in the bushes, stunned but alright. Just when I thought I was going to be ok, this refrigerator comes soaring out of the sky and crushes me instantly, now I'm here." Once again, Peter had to concede that this sounded like a pretty horrible death. A third man comes to the front of the line, and again Peter explains that heaven is full and asks for his story. "Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding inside a refrigerator, naked......"