Date: Tue, 16 Jul 1996 22:57:16 -0400 (EDT) From: Le Rodeur de Pensin Subject: BLAGUES-L: Seminars for Males/Females Une autre qui a fait du chemin!!! From: Annie Pilote De : Genevieve Labelle, 101560,663 From: Hugo Villeneuve From: (Staeben, Brent (HRD)) From: whmgroup Subject: A funny - classes to broaden our horizon Date: Wednesday, May 08, 1996 9:01AM Some interesting classes for next semester All male classes are prepared and presented by females only and all female classes are prepared and presented by males. SEMINARS FOR MALES 1. Combating Stupidity 2. You, too, can do housework 3. PMS -- Learn when to keep your mouth shut. 4. How to fill an ice tray 5. We do not want sleazy underthings for Christmas -- Give us money 6. Understanding the female response to your coming in drunk at 4:00am 7. Wonderful laundry techniques (formerly titled "Don't wash my silks") 8. Parenting -- No, it doesn't end with conception 9. Get a life -- learn to cook 10. How not to act like an asshole when you're obviously wrong 11. Spelling -- Even you can get it right 12. Understanding your financial incompetence 13. You -- The Weaker Sex 14. Reasons to give flowers 15. How to stay awake after sex 16. Why it is unacceptable to relieve yourself anywhere but the bathroom 17. Garbage -- Getting it to the curb 18. You can fall asleep without "it" if you really try 19. The morning dilemma if "It's" awake. Take a shower 20. I'll wear it if I damn well please 21. How to put the toilet lid down (formerly "No, it's not a bidet") 22. "The weekend" and "sports" are not synonyms 23. Give me a break! Why we know your excuses are bullshit 24. How to go shopping with your mate and not get lost 25. The remote control -- Overcoming your dependency 26. Romanticism - Ideas other than sex 27. Helpful postural hints for couch potatoes 28. Mother-in-laws -- They are people, too 29. Male bonding -- Leaving your friends at home 30. You too can be a designated driver 31. Seeing the true you (formerly "No, you don't look like Mel Gibson, especially when naked!") 32. Changing your underwear -- It really works 33. The Attainable Goal -- Omitting "TITS" from your vocabulary 34. Fluffing the blankets after flatulating is NOT necessary 35. Techniques for calling home _________________________________________________________________ Now, for the females.... (seminar will be given by men only) SEMINARS FOR WOMEN 1. "Are you ready to leave?" -- Definition of the word "yes" 2. Appropriate rhetorical questions (Formerly "Honey, do I look fat?") 3. Elementary Map Reading 4. Crying and law enforcement 5. Advanced Math Seminar -- Program your VCR 6. You can go shopping for less then 4 hours 7. Gaining five pounds v. the end of the world: a study in contrast 8. The Seven-Outfit Week 9. PMS -- It's YOUR Problem, Not Mine (was: It's Happened Monthly Since Puberty -- Deal With It) 10. Driving I: Getting past automatic transmission 11. Driving II: The meaning of blinking red lights 12. Driving III: Approximating a constant speed 13. Driving IV: Makeup and Driving--It's As Simple As Oil and Water 14. The Super Bowl: Not a Game--A Sacrament 15. Telephone Translations (was: "Me too" equals "I Love You") 16. How to Earn Your Own Money 17. Giftgiving Fundamentals (was: Fabric Bad, Electronics Good) 18. Putting the Seat Down By Yourself: Potential Energy is on Your Side 19. Know When to Say When: The Limits of Makeup 20. Beyond "Clean and Dirty": The Nuances of Wearable Laundry 21. We forget birthdays, you forget sports stats: LET'S LET IT DROP 22. MYOB: Proper response to other couple's public arguments 23. Yes, You Can Buy Condoms (was: WE learned to deal with the embarrassment) 24. Joys of the Remote Control: Reaping the Benefits of 50+ Channels 25. What Goes Around Comes Around--Why His Credit Card is Not a Toy 26. The Penis: His Best Friend Can Be Yours 27. His Poker Games: Deal Yourself Out 28. Committment Schmittment (was: Wedlock Schmedlock) 29. "To Honor and Obey:" Remembering the small print above "I Do" 30. Why Your Mother Is Unwelcome In The House 31. Your Mate: Selfish Bastard, or Victimized Sensitive Man-child Healing his Father Wound by Expressing the Latent Wild Man Within? Please sign up early. Seats are very limited!!! Sonya A. Hull WHM Group Inc. "Partnering for Sustainable Healthcare"