Date: Sun, 25 Feb 1996 21:36:16 -0500 (EST)
Subject: BLAGUES-L: Pour mieux reflechir aux coupures budgetaires

From: Luce Des Marais

(M. Guedon est un prof a mon departement.)

 From: Jean-Claude Guedon
 
 My chairman was given tickets to a performance of  
 Schubert's Unfinished Symphony. Being unable to go, he passed the  
 tickets along to the Business Process Reengineering coordinator (BPR  
 = head count cuts). The next morning the chairman asked how he  
 enjoyed the performance. Instead of the usual "it was nice, very  
 pleasant, blah blah blah" the BPR coordinator handed the chairman  
 the following memo:
 
 A) For considerable periods, the oboe players had nothing to do.  
 Their number should be reduced and their work spread over the whole  
 orchestra, thus avoiding peaks of inactivity.
 
 B) All twelve violins were playing identical notes. This seems  
 unnecessary duplication and the staff in this section should be  
 drastically cut. If a large volume of sound is really required, this  
 could be obtained through the use of an amplifier.
 
 C) Much effort was involved in playing the demi-semiquavers. This  
 seems an excessive refinement, and it is therefore recommended that  
 all notes should be rounded up to the nearest semiquaver. If this  
 were done, it should be possible to use trainees instead of  
 craftsmen.
 
 D) No useful purpose is served by repeating with horns the passage  
 that has already been handled by the strings. If all such redundant  
 passages were eliminated, the concert could be reduced from two  
 hours to twenty minutes.
 
 In the light of the above one can conclude that had Schubert given  
 attention to these matters, he would probably have had time to  
 finish his symphony."