Accueil > BLAGUES-L > Archives 1996 >
Date: Tue, 19 Mar 1996 09:28:06 -0500 (EST)
Subject: BLAGUES-L: petite blague contaminee
Date: Mon, 18 Mar 1996 14:20:49 -0500 (EST)
From: Vezina Marie-Helene
J'ai peche ca dans " l'Union des potes" sur le Web et j'ai pense a vous les
amateurs de blagues!
BOBBIT VIRUS: Removes a vital part of your hard disk then re-attaches
it. (But that part will never work again)
OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB,
and then slowly expands back to 200MB.
AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you
MCI VIRUS: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too
much for the AT&T virus.
PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It
warns you of impending hard disk attack - once if by LAN, twice if by
POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead
refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism".
ROSS PEROT VIRUS: Activates every component in your system, just
before the whole damn thing quits.
TED TURNER VIRUS: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates and stay resident. It'll be
DAN QUAYLE VIRUS: Prevents your system from spawning any child process
without joining into a binary network.
DAN QUAYLE VIRUS #2: Their is sumthing rong wit your komputer, ewe
jsut cant figyour out watt!
GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic
software says everything is fine.
NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS: Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people
really mad just thinking about it.
FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of
little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which
claim to be the most important part of your computer.
GALLUP VIRUS: Sixty percent of the PCS infected will lose 38 percent
of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent
margin of error).
TEXAS VIRUS: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically
with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the
AIRLINE VIRUS: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
FREUDIAN VIRUS: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own
PUBLIC TELEVISION VIRUS: Your programs stop every few minutes to ask
ELVIS VIRUS: Your computer gets fat and lazy, then self-destructs;
only to re-surface at sopping malls and service stations across
OLLIE NORTH VIRUS: Causes your printer top become a paper shredder.
NIKE VIRUS: Just does it.
JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS: Your programs can never be found again.
CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS #2: Runs every programs on the hard drive
simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.
KERVORKIAN VIRUS: Helps your computer shut down as an act of mercy.
IMELDA MARCOS VIRUS: Sings a song (slightly off key) on boot up, then
subtracts money from your Quicken account and spends it all on
expensive shoes it purchases through Prodigy.
STAR TREK VIRUS: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone
HEALTH CARE VIRUS: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong,
and sends you a bill for $4,500.
GEORGE BUSH VIRUS: It starts by boldly stating:"Read my docs... No new
files!" on the screen. It proceeds to fill up the free space on your
hard drive with new files, then blames it on the "Congressional
DENVER BRONCOS VIRUS: Makes your pentium 90 machine perform like a
LAPD VIRUS: It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your
PC and erases them in "self defense".
ORAL ROBERTS VIRUS: Claims that if you don't send it a million
dollars, its programmer will take it back.
BONGBONG MARCOS VIRUS: Found as a variant of the "Imelda Marcos
Virus", it randomly flashes the message "I'm innocent" on the screen
while slashes your important bit by bit and saves them in a file named
Accueil > BLAGUES-L > Archives 1996 >