Accueil > BLAGUES-L > Archives 1995 >
Date: Wed, 22 Mar 1995 07:41:43 -0500 (EST)
Subject: Joke from the LINGUIST mailing list
From: alan harris
Subject: the more philosophic approach to a question. . .
>From William F EADIE
thanks to Bill Eadie:
(forwarded by Lawrence Rosenfeld)
) WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
) For the greater good.
) Karl Marx:
) It was a historical inevitability.
) So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken
) which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but
) also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend
) with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the
) princely chicken's dominion maintained.
) Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.
) Jacques Derrida:
) Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the
) act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is
) equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned,
) because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!
) Thomas de Torquemada:
) Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
) Timothy Leary:
) Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would
) let it take.
) Douglas Adams:
) Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes
) also across you.
) Oliver North:
) National Security was at stake.
) B.F. Skinner:
) Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium
) from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it
) would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to
) be of its own free will.
) Carl Jung:
) The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that
) individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and
) therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
) Jean-Paul Sartre:
) In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the
) chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
) Ludwig Wittgenstein:
) The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects
) "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came into being which
) caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.
) Albert Einstein:
) Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the
) chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
) To actualize its potential.
) If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.
) Howard Cosell:
) It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to
) grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian
) biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement
) formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a
) remarkable occurence.
) Salvador Dali:
) The Fish.
) It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
) Emily Dickinson:
) Because it could not stop for death.
) For fun.
) Ralph Waldo Emerson:
) It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
) Johann Friedrich von Goethe:
) The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
) Ernest Hemingway:
) To die. In the rain.
) Werner Heisenberg:
) We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it
) was moving very fast.
) David Hume:
) Out of custom and habit.
) Saddam Hussein:
) This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
) justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
) Jack Nicholson:
) 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason.
) Pyrrho the Skeptic:
) What road?
) Ronald Reagan:
) I forget.
) John Sununu:
) The Air Force was only too happy to provide the transportation,
) so quite understandably the chicken availed himself of the
) The Sphinx:
) You tell me.
) Henry David Thoreau:
) To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.
) Mark Twain:
) The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
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